I've sold out! I don't know whether to be disappointed with myself or happy. I got a real mattress yesterday.
One of my co-op buddies stayed over our place last weekend. Preparing for his arrival, my roommate went over another co-op's place and got an extra boxspring and mattress. When the co-op buddy left, I ended up taking the mattress. After one night, I have yet to notice a difference in quality of sleep. *sigh* For two months, I was sleeping on a slightly deflated airmattress. Now it is fully deflated, folded up in the corner of my room. It's a sad moment.
Yesterday, I bought the Matrix: Reloaded. I will be watching that this weekend.
I also bought a pair of expensive headphones to try out. I could definitaly tell the difference between my $30 sony headphones and these $130 Sennheiser headphones. There is only one problem: they are "open-air" headphones. Even though they completly cover both ears (like studio headphones), they leak out a lot of sound purposely to have a more spacial sound and to gain bass performance. When listening to them, they sound awesome, but my roommate, in the other room, can hear the sound. This is discouraging, because most "good" headphones are designed in this way- but the whole point of me buying headphones is so that I don't disturb other people. If other people can still hear the sound with the headphones on, I might as well crank up the subwoofer and give him or her something to listen to. Awesome headphones, but they leak sound. :( I'll be returning them tomorrow.
I'm working on my presentation for my database-driven website. I will be giving that on monday, oct 20th.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Men and Women
God revealed something to me this morning while I was sitting at work. It is very disturbing.
Jesus calls us to radically change from what we naturally are. A change from our sinful, natural state is the fruit of our faith. Without this change, what is the purpose or need of Jesus being in our life?
I often wonder if my kind, optimistic spirit is my natural, sinful state or is due to a radical change instigated by my walk with God. Why am I wondering this? Some would say, "as long as you love Jesus and love your neighbor you are doing what is right." This logic is just the same as saying, "as long as you have the correct answer on a test, that's all that matters- cheating or no cheating." I tell you, it is not the result that matters, but the path one takes to obtain that result. Loving my neighbor isn't good if my love is being derived from the wrong source; my love needs to come from God, not from my natural, sinful state.
I have a "helper" personality. I put others above myself and often help others at my expense. This sounds nice, right? The catch? I expect to be loved and be thanked by those I help. This is where my natural personality is sinful- it's selfish. My radical change that Jesus calls me to is to help others WITHOUT expecting repayment. This is the healthiest level that I can be at. Helping and loving others unconditionally is only achievable through God.
What was the disturbing revelation? I have wanted to incorporate God into all parts of my life. I want my kindness to be from God, not from my natural personality. This is a bit harder for men than it is for women. There is a book Men Are Like Waffles - Women Are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel. I have not read it, but I have heard about it. Below explains why I say that incorporating God in every aspect of life is generally more difficult for men:
"We do not mean that men "waffle" on all decisions and are generally unstable. What we mean is that men process life in boxes. If you look down at a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls. The boxes are all separate from each other and make convenient holding places. That is typically how a man processes life. Our thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only. The first issue of life goes in the first box, the second goes in the second box, and so on. The typical man lives in one box at a time and one box only. When a man is at work, he is at work. When he is in the garage tinkering around, he is in the garage tinkering. When he is watching TV, he is simple watching TV. That is why he looks as though he is in a trance and can ignore everything else going on around him. Social scientists call this "compartmentalizing" --that is, putting life and responsibilities into different compartments..."
"In contrast to men's waffle-like approach, women process life more like a plate of pasta. If you look at a plate of spaghetti, you notice that there are lots of individual noodles that all touch one another. If you attempted to follow one noodle around the plate, you would intersect a lot of other noodles, and you might even switch to another noodle seamlessly. That is how women face life. Every thought and issue is connected to every other thought and issue is some way. Life is much more of a process for women than it is for men. This is why women are typically better at multitasking than men. She can talk on the phone, prepare a meal, make a shopping list, work on the agenda for tomorrow's business meeting, give instructions to her children as they are going out to play, and close the door with her foot without skipping a beat. Because all her thoughts, emotions, and convictions are connected, she is able to process more information and keep track of more activities."
At work, I received an e-mail from a man with whom I go to church. I met him at a retreat this past Saturday and found out that he works in the same building as I; probably just right across the hall, too. His e-mail was simple yet powerful:
----------
Matt,
thanks so much for the great music! (St Francis)
thanks, Mike
----------
Two things were at work here: 1) he took the time to remember my name from the retreat, look it up in the NASA KSC e-mail directory, and send me an e-mail thanking me for playing guitar at his retreat 2) He was talking about church- at work. When I read his thanks at work about a retreat at church, it felt weird. This feeling is easily explained by the excerpts from the book above. I didn't want to combine my compartments- church and work. They are separate parts of my life with different people. Except this is no longer the case. A member from my church works in the same building as I.
This instigated some more introspection of my relationship with God. Am I "compartmentalizing" God? I do bring a devotional to work in attempt to integrate God into each of my compartments. Is that enough? What can I do so that God is the syrup in my life, saturating each and every compartment?
This is something that I have to think and pray about for a while. With time, God will give me some kind of answer.
Jesus calls us to radically change from what we naturally are. A change from our sinful, natural state is the fruit of our faith. Without this change, what is the purpose or need of Jesus being in our life?
I often wonder if my kind, optimistic spirit is my natural, sinful state or is due to a radical change instigated by my walk with God. Why am I wondering this? Some would say, "as long as you love Jesus and love your neighbor you are doing what is right." This logic is just the same as saying, "as long as you have the correct answer on a test, that's all that matters- cheating or no cheating." I tell you, it is not the result that matters, but the path one takes to obtain that result. Loving my neighbor isn't good if my love is being derived from the wrong source; my love needs to come from God, not from my natural, sinful state.
I have a "helper" personality. I put others above myself and often help others at my expense. This sounds nice, right? The catch? I expect to be loved and be thanked by those I help. This is where my natural personality is sinful- it's selfish. My radical change that Jesus calls me to is to help others WITHOUT expecting repayment. This is the healthiest level that I can be at. Helping and loving others unconditionally is only achievable through God.
What was the disturbing revelation? I have wanted to incorporate God into all parts of my life. I want my kindness to be from God, not from my natural personality. This is a bit harder for men than it is for women. There is a book Men Are Like Waffles - Women Are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel. I have not read it, but I have heard about it. Below explains why I say that incorporating God in every aspect of life is generally more difficult for men:
"We do not mean that men "waffle" on all decisions and are generally unstable. What we mean is that men process life in boxes. If you look down at a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls. The boxes are all separate from each other and make convenient holding places. That is typically how a man processes life. Our thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only. The first issue of life goes in the first box, the second goes in the second box, and so on. The typical man lives in one box at a time and one box only. When a man is at work, he is at work. When he is in the garage tinkering around, he is in the garage tinkering. When he is watching TV, he is simple watching TV. That is why he looks as though he is in a trance and can ignore everything else going on around him. Social scientists call this "compartmentalizing" --that is, putting life and responsibilities into different compartments..."
"In contrast to men's waffle-like approach, women process life more like a plate of pasta. If you look at a plate of spaghetti, you notice that there are lots of individual noodles that all touch one another. If you attempted to follow one noodle around the plate, you would intersect a lot of other noodles, and you might even switch to another noodle seamlessly. That is how women face life. Every thought and issue is connected to every other thought and issue is some way. Life is much more of a process for women than it is for men. This is why women are typically better at multitasking than men. She can talk on the phone, prepare a meal, make a shopping list, work on the agenda for tomorrow's business meeting, give instructions to her children as they are going out to play, and close the door with her foot without skipping a beat. Because all her thoughts, emotions, and convictions are connected, she is able to process more information and keep track of more activities."
At work, I received an e-mail from a man with whom I go to church. I met him at a retreat this past Saturday and found out that he works in the same building as I; probably just right across the hall, too. His e-mail was simple yet powerful:
----------
Matt,
thanks so much for the great music! (St Francis)
thanks, Mike
----------
Two things were at work here: 1) he took the time to remember my name from the retreat, look it up in the NASA KSC e-mail directory, and send me an e-mail thanking me for playing guitar at his retreat 2) He was talking about church- at work. When I read his thanks at work about a retreat at church, it felt weird. This feeling is easily explained by the excerpts from the book above. I didn't want to combine my compartments- church and work. They are separate parts of my life with different people. Except this is no longer the case. A member from my church works in the same building as I.
This instigated some more introspection of my relationship with God. Am I "compartmentalizing" God? I do bring a devotional to work in attempt to integrate God into each of my compartments. Is that enough? What can I do so that God is the syrup in my life, saturating each and every compartment?
This is something that I have to think and pray about for a while. With time, God will give me some kind of answer.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Football and Malibu Music Hour
Another week has passed by...
Right now, I'm "trapped in a place between this world and the machine world." If you know what I'm talking about, then kudos to you. I, also, am STOKED. But what I actually mean to say is that I'm in limbo land. You might know what I'm talking about...
After work today (17:00), I crashed on my semi-deflated airmattress. I didn't wake up until 1:00. According to my co-op caused rusty mathematics, that's an 8 hour nap. Well...after waking up, and being up for nearly 2 hours, I still don't feel awake. I want to go back to sleep because I really don't have anything to do but I can't. I'M IN SLEEP PURGATORY! (a little catholic humor)
But today, I do have an eventful agenda planned. At 6:00, I'll be heading out to Orlando to pray over the abortion clinic. (By the way, I hope that the partial birth abortion ban passes the Senate so ToddQ's all-time favorite president can sign that sucka.) After doing that, I'll head to Tampa at about 12:00. What's in Tampa, you might ask? Well, I know that Mattie P knows what's in Tampa at 19:00...*cue "We Ready" by Archie and Bubba Sparxxx*...CARDINAL FOOTBALL!!! That's right folks; I'll be watching the good ole Louisville Cardinals playing some football this evening. I'm excited to get a taste of home. My uncle and aunt from Louisville will also be there. My uncle went to Speed with Papa Parris back in the day, got a ChemE degree, and now works for Jim Beam. I'm looking forward to watching a whooping!
The days are passing by very quickly. There is never enough time in the day to do everything I want to. Here was my schedule last week:
Monday:
06:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
07:00 Church
08:00 Work
17:00 Adoration Chapel
18:00 Dinner/ Idle time
21:00 Chat on the phone
22:00-00:00 Sleep
Tuesday:
07:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
08:00 Work
16:30 Soccer
18:30 Shower/ Dinner
19:30 Retreat meeting at Church
21:00 Adoration Chapel
22:00 Chat on the phone
23:00 Sleep
Wednesday:
06:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
07:00 Church
08:00 Work
17:00 Adoration Chapel
18:00 Dinner/ Idle time
21:00 Chat on the phone
Thursday:
07:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
08:00 Work
16:30 Watch Electric Model Airplanes
17:00 Soccer
18:30 Shower
19:00 Bible Study
21:00 Adoration Chapel
22:00 Sleep
Friday:
06:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
07:00 Church
08:00 Work
17:00 Sleep
Saturday:
01:00 Wake Up
01:30 IM Mo Mo
03:00 Blog
That's it folks...my life for the past 2 weeks.
*As a side note, I'm now having malibu music hour..."What the world needs now is love" by Jackie Deshannon just came on. I decided to skip it (because I actually have no clue how it got on my computer) but when I skipped it "Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross (Mikey's dedicated song) came on. For the sake of malibu music hour and remembering sitting in the car with Morris and Mikey after fireworks at da park dedicating this song to Mikey, I had to listen to these songs. "And love, ohh love, I'll be that fool for you. I'm sure you know I don't mind, ohh you know I don't mind. And yes, you'll be the only one cause no one can deny this love I have inside. And I'll give it all to you, my love- my love, my love.....my endless love."
To get me out of malibu music hour was some reassuring music- a passion I have that ToddQ would not only agree with but would whole-heartedly encourage- Five Iron Frenzy- Walking on Sunshine. Ahh...the good old days of Summer 2002: climbing out windows, throwing waffle ball bats, watching World Cup soccer at 1:00 with DLo, going to Ichthus (actually was at the tail end of spring), and listening to Five Iron Frenzy while memorizing speeches and History of Rock & Roll terms, and learning 3D graphing techniques for Calc 3. Ahh...
I read Hinton's blog (can I call it a blog when it's not hosted by blogger.net?), posted on 10.1.2003 at 9:50 AM. Elisabeth Elliot's "Passion & Purity" is a predecessor to the popular Joshua Harris. I've read Harris' books and have attempted to acquire the same mindset he has. By removing the temptation of physical intimacy, one can only grow spiritually with the significant other. To be honest, I haven't been in a situation yet where I have had to make a decision like that with my current beliefs, so we'll find out whether I hold to them when the time comes (if it does...).
*I'm sad to say that malibu music hour continues..."It's raining men" by the Weather Girls just came on. I do know why this song is on my computer. It comes from freshman year, in good ole Miller hall, 3rd floor in David Yeiser's (eDay) room. We used to jam to this song. Along side being forced to listen to the exhaustive porn collection Lykin's had (I must admit, I did encourage him, and even start some, on occasion).
"Hi (Hi!) We're your Weather Girls (Ah-huh)
And have we got news for you (You better listen!)
Get ready, all you lonely girls
and leave those umbrellas at home. (all right!)
It's rising (mm rising) - Barometer's getting low (how low-girl)
According to all sources, (what sources now)
the street's the place to go (you better hurry up)
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men.
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean..."
and so on, and so forth.
That's all I can think of for now. Until next time...
Right now, I'm "trapped in a place between this world and the machine world." If you know what I'm talking about, then kudos to you. I, also, am STOKED. But what I actually mean to say is that I'm in limbo land. You might know what I'm talking about...
After work today (17:00), I crashed on my semi-deflated airmattress. I didn't wake up until 1:00. According to my co-op caused rusty mathematics, that's an 8 hour nap. Well...after waking up, and being up for nearly 2 hours, I still don't feel awake. I want to go back to sleep because I really don't have anything to do but I can't. I'M IN SLEEP PURGATORY! (a little catholic humor)
But today, I do have an eventful agenda planned. At 6:00, I'll be heading out to Orlando to pray over the abortion clinic. (By the way, I hope that the partial birth abortion ban passes the Senate so ToddQ's all-time favorite president can sign that sucka.) After doing that, I'll head to Tampa at about 12:00. What's in Tampa, you might ask? Well, I know that Mattie P knows what's in Tampa at 19:00...*cue "We Ready" by Archie and Bubba Sparxxx*...CARDINAL FOOTBALL!!! That's right folks; I'll be watching the good ole Louisville Cardinals playing some football this evening. I'm excited to get a taste of home. My uncle and aunt from Louisville will also be there. My uncle went to Speed with Papa Parris back in the day, got a ChemE degree, and now works for Jim Beam. I'm looking forward to watching a whooping!
The days are passing by very quickly. There is never enough time in the day to do everything I want to. Here was my schedule last week:
Monday:
06:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
07:00 Church
08:00 Work
17:00 Adoration Chapel
18:00 Dinner/ Idle time
21:00 Chat on the phone
22:00-00:00 Sleep
Tuesday:
07:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
08:00 Work
16:30 Soccer
18:30 Shower/ Dinner
19:30 Retreat meeting at Church
21:00 Adoration Chapel
22:00 Chat on the phone
23:00 Sleep
Wednesday:
06:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
07:00 Church
08:00 Work
17:00 Adoration Chapel
18:00 Dinner/ Idle time
21:00 Chat on the phone
Thursday:
07:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
08:00 Work
16:30 Watch Electric Model Airplanes
17:00 Soccer
18:30 Shower
19:00 Bible Study
21:00 Adoration Chapel
22:00 Sleep
Friday:
06:00 Wake Up/ Get Ready
07:00 Church
08:00 Work
17:00 Sleep
Saturday:
01:00 Wake Up
01:30 IM Mo Mo
03:00 Blog
That's it folks...my life for the past 2 weeks.
*As a side note, I'm now having malibu music hour..."What the world needs now is love" by Jackie Deshannon just came on. I decided to skip it (because I actually have no clue how it got on my computer) but when I skipped it "Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross (Mikey's dedicated song) came on. For the sake of malibu music hour and remembering sitting in the car with Morris and Mikey after fireworks at da park dedicating this song to Mikey, I had to listen to these songs. "And love, ohh love, I'll be that fool for you. I'm sure you know I don't mind, ohh you know I don't mind. And yes, you'll be the only one cause no one can deny this love I have inside. And I'll give it all to you, my love- my love, my love.....my endless love."
To get me out of malibu music hour was some reassuring music- a passion I have that ToddQ would not only agree with but would whole-heartedly encourage- Five Iron Frenzy- Walking on Sunshine. Ahh...the good old days of Summer 2002: climbing out windows, throwing waffle ball bats, watching World Cup soccer at 1:00 with DLo, going to Ichthus (actually was at the tail end of spring), and listening to Five Iron Frenzy while memorizing speeches and History of Rock & Roll terms, and learning 3D graphing techniques for Calc 3. Ahh...
I read Hinton's blog (can I call it a blog when it's not hosted by blogger.net?), posted on 10.1.2003 at 9:50 AM. Elisabeth Elliot's "Passion & Purity" is a predecessor to the popular Joshua Harris. I've read Harris' books and have attempted to acquire the same mindset he has. By removing the temptation of physical intimacy, one can only grow spiritually with the significant other. To be honest, I haven't been in a situation yet where I have had to make a decision like that with my current beliefs, so we'll find out whether I hold to them when the time comes (if it does...).
*I'm sad to say that malibu music hour continues..."It's raining men" by the Weather Girls just came on. I do know why this song is on my computer. It comes from freshman year, in good ole Miller hall, 3rd floor in David Yeiser's (eDay) room. We used to jam to this song. Along side being forced to listen to the exhaustive porn collection Lykin's had (I must admit, I did encourage him, and even start some, on occasion).
"Hi (Hi!) We're your Weather Girls (Ah-huh)
And have we got news for you (You better listen!)
Get ready, all you lonely girls
and leave those umbrellas at home. (all right!)
It's rising (mm rising) - Barometer's getting low (how low-girl)
According to all sources, (what sources now)
the street's the place to go (you better hurry up)
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men.
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean..."
and so on, and so forth.
That's all I can think of for now. Until next time...
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